Pounds. It’s a weighty subject. There are so many different kinds of “weight” that people carry on their backs, in their bellies, on their hips and thighs. However, what I am referring to is not isolated to just the physical manifestations of excess weight on the body. I am also referring to the burdensome weight that so many people struggle with in the form of emotional and psychological hurts, losses, trauma, debts, and the like.

Losing that sort of weight is much more complex than simply abiding by a stringent diet. What both do have in common is the willingness to make a commitment to lifestyle changes that will produce lasting results if viewed from this perspective. Many people need a complete overhaul that would entail an inventory of all of the possible contributors to the sensation of feeling weighted down.

Let’s begin by asking: “What’s enough?” Does anyone know anymore? Our culture is so greedy and seemingly insatiable: bigger portions at restaurants, mega stores, mega churches, enormous houses, larger automobiles that consume more precious natural resources that are in short supply, more material objects than any one person truly needs but rather, wants out of some distorted view of what necessitates a need versus a want. And what, does all of this lead to? Oftentimes, being financially overextended—said another way, in DEBT! Ever-increasing financial debt. Has this become the norm? People who fall into this category are often owned by their things, as opposed to the other way around, which allows for being unencumbered and free—weightless.

I propose that what needs to be looked at when someone is overweight (and this applies to individuals who are within the normal physical weight ranges as well but, feel burdened and “weighted down”) are all of the other possible areas in life that create this feeling state.

What are some examples of these states I’m referring to?

• An inability to forgive the seemingly unforgivable.
• Mounting financial debt and living beyond one’s means.
• Too much emphasis on the temporal and “happiness” in the moment, as opposed to lasting joy, which is often the result of discipline and self-control.
• Lack of charity.
• Loss of a strong moral code that shores a person up when he or she is weak.

There are many contributors to this condition and this is just a sampling of what some of those things might be for any one person at different times:

Forgiveness. Who’s it for anyway? It’s for the person who has been wronged first and foremost. So many people confuse forgiveness with condoning an act or behavior that was injurious. Acceptance of what is and releasing it is far healthier than holding onto a grudge that not only contributes to a negative energy state but also, contributes to excess psychological weight.

Living within one’s means isn’t so difficult—it’s just that a lot of people believe that more stuff is the antidote for what’s missing in their lives. Quite the contrary; more material possessions translates into a person traveling through life with more things to haul from one place to another. I don’t see many birds weighted down with backpacks that outweigh them by two and three times. Think about it. How can anyone fly (i.e., live weightlessly and free) if encumbered by a bunch of stuff? Plus, revolving credit card consumer debt and being overextended in a variety of areas financially puts one in a prison of his own making. So, cut out the cards is my motto and become a cash and carry person. It’s amazing how much lighter anyone can and will feel as a result.

Giving to others. What a lot of people forget is that giving is not only for the recipient of the gift but, for the giver as well. I recall that Mother Teresa once said that she questioned whether any true altruism actually existed since even in her own circumstances—forgoing material things and living a self-sacrificial life, she had gained so much as a result. And giving doesn’t have to be writing a check to the charity of your choice or time volunteered to some organization in need. Giving to others might mean letting someone into your lane while driving, saying “hello” to a stranger, holding the door for someone coming or leaving a place of business; you get the idea. Watch the psychological weight disappear simply from giving more to others.

There are absolutes in this world. Self-control and moral discipline are necessary and essential requirements for a civilized society. What happens when there is moral decline, and when boundaries for appropriate and acceptable conduct become more and more acceptable? Does the fall of Rome ring any bells? This also relates back to living within one’s means. There’s nothing wrong with some denial of pleasure—in fact, it’s healthy and an important element of leading a balanced life.

What’s the difference between light and light? I think they both are quite similar, since living in the light is the opposite of darkness and ignorance, and feeling less weighted down in life, whether physical or psychological, connotes freedom of movement.

As Gandhi said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” And drop a few “LB’s” while you’re at it—the change will do you good.

Gina M. Taffi, Ph.D. is a Licensed Clinical and Consulting Psychologist in private practice; Solana Beach, California (858) 404-0234.

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